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Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed? He had low elf-esteem.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

What do you call a camel with no hump? Humphrey.

Why is Cinderella no good at sports?  Because her coach is a pumpkin, and she is always running away from the ball!

There are two cows in a paddock. One says to the other "Moooooooo". The other says, "Oh, I was going to say that!". 

What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.

Why do baby ducks walk softly? Cause they can’t walk hardly.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you left it!

Why do tiny teddies not where mini skirts? Cause they have crummy legs.

Why does Tarzan yell? Because it hurts when he beats his chest.

Why did the scarecrow receive an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.

Why are ant eaters so healthy?  Cause they are full of anty-bodies.

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.

What do you call a 3 legged donkey? A wonky!! What do you call a 3 legged donkey with one eye? A winky wonky donkey!

Did you hear about the blind skunk? Fell in love with a fart.

Knock Knock, Who’s there? Arch. Arch who? Bless you!

Why was the 9 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9.

What do you call a woman with a pocket full of fish? Annette.

A piglet got sunburnt, he said "I'm bacon"! "You'll need oinkment on that" said his dad, who was an old boar.

What did the chicken say to the duck when the duck was about to cross the road? 'Don't do it! They will never let you forget it!'

Why can’t you find an aspirin in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all!

What is invisible and smells like a banana? A monkey’s fart.

What has the bottom at the top? Your legs!

Why did the scientist put a knocker on his front door? Cos he wanted to win the no-bell prize!

Why did the girl put lipstick on her forehead? Cos she was trying to make up her mind!

What did the earwig say when it fell out of the tree? Ear we-go!

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a Buccaneer.

What's old, grey and still hiding in the cupboard? A hide and seek champion! 

Why was the Sand wet? Because the seaweed.

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ? They sit eggsaminations!

Why did the Rockmelon jump into the river? He wanted to become a Watermelon!

Why don't tigers eat clowns? Because they taste funny!

What would we have if everyone in Australia drove a pink car? We'd have a pink car-nation!

Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they have honey combs!